This post will contain lots of complains, so if you don’t stand them, just don’t read this post: I mainly wrote it for me, in order to pour out my anger and my frustration.
Since I’ve come back from my Christmas holiday I’ve constantly been put under pressure. First came my application letter: I’ve spent a whole Saturday afternoon working on it (it was supposed to be my day off) and I sent it about 15 minutes before the deadline. Well, one thing is over, you may say. Actually, no. No because I got a response from the university, saying they wanted a portfolio. Well, my friends here knows I’ve been dealing with it for about 5 months (and they’re probably sick and tired to hear this word), but I’m still not able to provide one: I have something ready but I’d like to add something. When will I do it? Believe me, I don’t know. In a week I should send the university an e-mail with a link to my works, and I must have them ready in less than 7 days. They would be enough if didn’t have school and tests practically every day (if not two in the same day).
Teachers or adults would just say << You have to learn how to cope with stress! >>. I remember a reading we did in an English class few months ago dealing with teenagers who cope with stress. My desk mate said :<< Teachers are kind of joking us. We wouldn’t be so stressed if we didn’t have so much to study and tests over tests. They think we will learn to be more relaxed by reading a stupid article? >>. Now, tell me if this sounds stupid to you.
All I need is to stop the time but it seems nobody has invented anything that can do it. I’d just need two hours every day to be that isn’t counted by the clock. I would use nigh time, if I didn’t need to sleep so much: going to bed at midnight and wake up at 7.30 is not good for me, because I would be sleepy till lunch.
When you ask your parents for an advice they say I complain too much, that life it’s so easy for me because I don’t work, that I have nothing to worry about... and so on. This is mainly what my mother says. I can’t contradict her: since my grandpa has been put into a retirement house (he has the Alzheimer disease) her life is going and coming back from that place, plus working. She has not time to care about the family, and my father, who is always out for work’s dinners, doesn’t help at all. Every time my parents talk, they end up quarrelling and shouting. I don’t want and I wouldn’t even dare to stress them, so I decided to do all the university stuff alone, just providing them with little news.
What’s more, I’ll have an important English exam in March, but when I ask to my mother to come with me to enrol me, she says I’d better wait for the results of my exam simulation but I know it will be too late. My father had scolded me saying that I should have told him instead of my mother. But when would he help me if he works till 8 pm?
As things weren’t bad enough, Julie, my chipmunk, got ill again. She has broken her legs again, but this time pain killers don’t work. It’s been a week since I found her limping and she’s getting worse every day. I’m sure the vet would put her down... i don’t know what to do...I just don’t wanna see her suffering anymore, but I know her death would destroy me and... Damn I feel so cruel in saying it but, I have no time for depression now...
Yes, I’m aware that my problems seems stupid, surely worthless worrying, if you consider the lives of other people, but facing them it’s hard for me.
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