Yay! I'm a Foundation Diploma Student!

Well, well well, lots of things have happened since August!
First of all, I'm officially a Foundation Diploma student at Farnham UCA! The moving process took so long and there's always a new problem which comes out every week, so, it's hard to say I've settled in, but I am. The place is simply lovely, and since it's a small town in the countryside, it's very peaceful, and, what's most important, safe.  I don't regret having left a big city, although I usually spend my Saturdays in London. Here in Farnham you have everything you need to leave and you don't have issues with traffic, smog and so on. People are everything but stressed, so they usually happen to be very kind and talkative. Being an Italian in a foreign country is not bothering me at all, since I live in an environment where international people are more than welcome, and not only here at campus!

I can say my real issue if friendship, because I've come to know some people, 5 girls in particular, who were in the same group I was, but they all lived outside Farnham, and have their own life and business to carry on. This means that, outside lessons, I don't have lots of people to talk with. 
I live in a "flat" with 3 people, but they're not so eager to spend time together, which is very sad. I'm probably the only one who talks with everyone, but we do nothing together. It's something that really bothers me, cause we've been living under the same roof for 2 month and we hardly know each other. We rarely talk, and when it comes to dinner time, everyone keeps eating in their own room. I've talked to other people who live on campus and this doesn't happen with them. When we first met, things weren't like that, but then the other girl who lives with me often invites her boyfriends and spends time with him,  another boy has his best friend living in the student village, so they're stay together, and the last one...well, he has some friends to go out with but he's usually alone here. I think he's the one I mostly talk to, but he's been very quiet recently.

I thought I had started quite well because when I had to collect my room's keys, I met a girl from Cyprus who was going to attend the same course. We've made friend quite quickly and even went to dinner out in a restaurant, along with our parents who weren't so talkative…at least my dad, since he has never studied English properly and was therefore limited. 
So, everything was nearly perfect, but then other students from Cyprus and Greece came to study here, and so she literally left me apart to stay with them. I don't blame her that much, cause I know it's difficult when you're in a foreign country all alone, but at least she could have introduced me to those people. She happens to spend time with me only when she's in need of something, and I just hate it. I don't mind helping others, but if someone looks for me just when he needs help and avoids me the rest of the time, well, I got pissed off a bit.
My mind is mostly busy with school stuff during the day, but it's when it comes to weekends that I really feel alone. I'm still looking for someone who doesn't have things to do on weekends, cause people who lives here, usually have families, friends and so on, so they always have something to do. I really want things to change, and quickly. There're still some Italian girls I haven't met and one of them, who has the same name I have, really wants to meet me. I can't wait to, the problem is that nobody seems to know where they live and I've never seen them at uni. Plus, I don't go to parties and such cause I get stressed instead of enjoying my time. It's because I'm extremely shy, and I don't drink, which makes people disappointed, English people in particular. I also hate being in a company when everyone gets drunk and you're the only sober one around you. I've never drunk, but it wasn't a problem for my Italian friends, for I used to join them anyway because what mattered was being together. Here it seems that the only party's aim is to get drunk.

On the other side, the course is great. In the last 7 weeks I've been attending a different subject every week, which meant lot of work for the assessment. The environment is very challenging and teacher always force you to think out of the boxes to avoid obvious. It's difficult at first, but then it becomes quite normal, and you get used to discard the first two ideas you get, since they'll be banal. 
The first two weeks I was feeling like a fish out of water, not because I regretted my choice, but because everyone was coming from an art school and they were all used to draw quite quickly without drawing rubbish, and use a wide range of materials. I was…ah…lost. I couldn't remember the last time I had used a brush and paint, so the first drawing I did were shameful, but the very next days I could use a brush without many problems. Oh, and I've rediscovered watercolours too! Honestly, I'm really having fun using traditional materials, probably more than digital ones.

I completely had to change my attitude towards art cause before joining this course, art for me was Deviantart and then History of Art. What a jerk I was! 
Luckily for me, my sense of art has developed, which makes me look more at real life and resources. Also the researches I had to do for the assessment were really helpful. Having and understanding of art practitioners (mostly modern ones) is always good, since you might happen to find them both inspiring and good for references. I don't mean copying their style, just finding out how their experience might help you in your future career or what can you learn from them. Then, the more I go on, the more I realise I know nothing about film and animation which is a lack that I should fill as soon as possible. Again, researches for the assessment helps me a lot, but they're probably not enough for me.

Last week I had an assessment and I received a good feedback from who was to become my Moving Images and Photography teacher. He told me I have some strong drawing skill (oh...just to specify: there weren't any wolves' related draings, so…yeah, I can actually draw something else!) and that I have a very animation-like style. I was very pleased when he said it, since no one related to the art field has ever told me something like that. Well, maybe it is because I knew none working in the art field. Anyway, that was very good for me and surely made me more self-confident.

Cuz life's like a jump rope!

Well, well, well, it has been a while hasn’t it?

And since this is my first and only journal after 3 month (how the….?), I have many things I’d like to record before they get out of my mind, starting with my Esame di Stato (Italian high school’s final exam).

I kinda did a mess (kinda?) but fortunately I’ve passed it. Thinking about it again I wish I had done it better, but thinking about it three times, I think I couldn’t expect much more, at least not in my class. Practically the only session I did quite well, was the Italian composition, although I found it extremely banal. I started panicking for nothing: I’ve never had so many problems doing a composition, so why did I have to be nervous?   Don’t know, really! And don’t even ask, ‘cause I can’t tell myself what I was thinking about that day.

The Maths’s session was awful. Not for the session itself but for what (once again) I did. And what the hell did I do? Everything I could, but the problem is that everything I did was wrong. YAY! Anyway, I was expecting such a result, ‘cause I should have done a miracle to get a 10/15, and, as you may imagine, I’m not Jesus.

The last written session was a surprise for me…unfortunately a bad one. I thought I had done it quite well, and I was expecting a 10/15. I got a point less, surely due to science: I couldn’t understand what the request was, as half of my class, but I wasn’t allowed to ask questions to the teacher. Luckily, English (or was it the English teacher instead?)saved my lucky ass. Again, I thought I had done a perfect test, for what concerns grammar and spelling. Famous last words. At least three spelling errors. DAMN IT!

I think the oral performance was better or, at least, I showed examiners I wasn’t so fucking bad. The art teacher (who didn’t know me at all because he was from another school) even wished me a happy birthday. I stared weirdly at him for a while, with my brain which was trying to connect all I knew about art with my private life. FAIL!

The good point is that I don’t have to show my face again after that bad performance! BYE HIGH SCHOOL! IT HASN’T BEEN A PLEASURE!

After nine and more months of studying, I could finally enjoy my summer holiday! I had already planned to go in Abruzzi, at the seaside, with one of my best friend. Along with us, there were my brother and one of his friend, but they’re not so important in this journal post (I’m too cruel). Once again we had our famous “nice, nearly deflated highlighter yellow air bed” which, unfortunately, departed. “Bye Bye Baby, Baby Good Bye!”. Oh well…but we’ve not missed it too much because we bought Drillo! Drillo is a gator-shaped inflatable, extremely big, so big that it can manage to carry two adult girls (adult because we’re 19 but we look like 16 years old girls. Plus, I don’t think adults might want to spend money on inflatables whose normally target are children aged 4-10).

During my stay at the sea-side I’ve also learned I’m actually good at cooking. My hosts used to appreciate what I served to them, ability which will surely be useful in England! I must admit it though, I lack of originality. The week menu would have been extremely banal if there hadn’t been my friend and her mum. They happened to be extremely useful and good advisors! My friend also learned how to cook potatoes and red rice potatoes (yes, she loves ‘em!). It has been hilarious looking at her while she was checking the potatoes in the pan. She even used to speak to them, saying something like “Oh yes precious! Cook, cook! Who’s a pretty little potato? You are, precious!”.

Unfortunately, along with nice and funny moments, my friend and I have experienced something terrible:  death. It was a cloudy day and we were walking by the shore, when I stopped by a black strange and fluffy thing. We later discovered it was a swallow, which couldn’t fly away for some reason. You may need to know (if you didn’t already knew it), that swallows don’t have the ability to rise if the happen to fall or have their feet on the ground, 'cause their wings are too big, and their legs too short. Apart from this little notion, in our total ignorance, we recognised something was wrong, and it was not a matter of ability’s lack. So we went to the owner of the bath establishment and we asked if he could do something. He gave us the vet police’s (don’t ask me what it is cause I still dunno) number, but they could do nothing because it was not their job.  So we called the forest ranger service, but none answered the call.

After that, the owner of the establishment asked us what kind of bird it was (we weren’t sure about it before), and told us to take it and throw it in air, cause if it had been a swallow, it would have started flying. We were a bit confused, and not so eager to touch it, because it might have been sick or something. One of the lifeguards who was listening to us, tried to do so three times, but the swallow kept falling after it has risen for a metre or so. The animal just couldn’t do it, and we were afraid it was for some injury we couldn’t see.

Then, we immediately rushed home and we looked on the internet to find some help but we couldn’t find any. We just noted the two town’s vet’s numbers, we came back to the seaside and we carried the swallow to the vets, because it was dying. Both the vets we away or busy, but one of them told us to go inside an herbalists’ shop, where a bird specialist was waiting for us. Although we were extremely sceptical, we went there and find this little good man who told us it was too late. He showed us two baby swallows he had found and cured. Well, one of them was nearly and adult and would have been set free the following day.

We were terribly sad 'cause we both thought we could have done something to help Yeats, as we called it.

Two days after, we happened to help a dog. I just couldn’t believe it! He was at a bath establishment as well, lying under a table. As we sat there, he came to use trying to get something to eat. Since I didn’t have any dog food with me (really?) I just gave him a piece of my slice of pizza (just bread, natural tomato sauce and olives’ oil, so nothing that would have caused him problems with his stomach). I spoke with one of the waiters and he told me he was a foundling, but didn’t know why he was here. He told me to bring it home (I would have wished to, believe me!) but I couldn’t. I just though he couldn’t stay there though, because I was afraid he would have been sent to a kennel (how wrong I was!), so I wanted to bring him to a vet due to discover if he had a master. It was midday though, and we had to wait for many hours before getting to the vet, so I somehow lead him (what a good boy! He followed us with nearly no problems!) in a little pine wood and waited there. When the supermarket opened, we bought a leash and a collar, and he said nothing we I tied him! But we noticed he wasn’t used to be walked.

After long hours, we brought him to the vet who exclaimed “Are you still here?”. I confessed I was relieved since I didn’t want to bring it home, if it hadn’t been necessarily. The vet told me that a couple had adopted him and had come to her the day before, but hadn’t wanted a microchip. They left no numbers or address to the vet, and she barely knew where they lived (what a responsible people!). I thought I could bring Oliver (the stray dog) to them, but she told me to leave him near home, because he was 6-7 years old and he had always lived as a stray. I didn’t agree so much but in the end I did it. I let him lead to his home, but when I left him, he followed us back! I don’t think he was considering me an owner, rather, a friend. Yes, he might have thought he had found a pack, since we took care of him in those 6 hours he has been with us.

He then went away and I never saw him again, but I’m sure he’s happy, even if he doesn’t have an owner. He has always lived free, and kind of life fits him.  Plus, the vet told me kennels didn’t want dogs anymore, ‘cause it was too expensive, and the town had no money.

I might have not have gone to Spain as my schoolmates did after the exam, but I’ve had a special summer anyway!

So here I am now! Packing for university ready to move to England in three days. Wait. Did I say ready? Damn, I’m not! I’m nervous and terribly scared! I’m afraid of forgetting something extremely important and I’m seriously starting panicking.

Maybe a psychologist would say this is normal to any international student attending a university abroad but this doesn’t make me feel better at all. The fact is that I’ve always showed to be prepared for this, and totally sure about it. There’re many people who believe in me: parents, family, friends… so I shouldn’t be so worried. Maybe it’s because my family is going to spend lots of money (too many), and I just don’t wanna waste them! I have chosen my course without anyone interfering with my decision, and I really want to spend hours drawing and studying. What’s more, I love England, and I’m ready to consider it a second home, because it’s the right place where I’d like to live.

I guess is all about starting and after a months or two, I’ll be glad of my choice, or, at least, I hope so!

Don't give up hope

It will get hard

Cause life's like a jump rope

Up down when it gets hard remember life's like a jump rope

And here comes the tragedy

Things keep going worse and worse, always because of school.

In the last 3 weeks I’ve been having problem with subjects like philosophy and history, which are bringing me to a big failure. Now I have 3 subjects under thanks to my history/philosophy teacher and I won’t probably be allowed to take my final exam. Of course I’ve tried to recover the situation but history was a disaster, because I didn’t understand what I had to study and during the oral test the teacher kept asking me question about Fascism but I couldn’t say a single word since I hadn’t revised it (by the way, there were tons of topic he could have asked me about but he insisted on that one, obviously knowing that I wouldn’t have spoken).

Philosophy’s test was definitely better and I got a good mark, but today, the teacher came to me saying he wanted to listen to me again. My eyes got wet for the anger. Fuck! I wanted to focus on the other subjects but once again, I cannot.

Plus, there’s a rumour which is apparently quite sure, that the examining body’s president will be a maths teacher who had had quarrels with most of my school’s teachers. He’s now the headmaster of another  high school in my city but my teachers know him for the mass murder he made two years ago: five students failed even if their previous marks were excellent and the other got a miserable 60/100 (the minimum score to pass the exam). What’s more, this man kept interrupting students during the exposition of their short thesis, and during the whole exam interview.

This asshole happens to be our examining body’s president!

Our mates and I have been having problems with maths for five years and we all know our maths exam will be a total disaster, that’s why we are trying to do our best in other subjects. This problem can’t be ignored, of course, but with this man will become huge! Generally, if you are not so good in maths, you can count on other subject and be quite sure teacher won’t flunk you just because of a single bad score. Well, with this man things are a bit different, and if he sees someone is not very good at maths he keeps asking questions until you’re dead-beat.  You can imagine that for someone who’s not good at maths this is a tragedy.

I came to know this on Thursday 26^th: during the break time, while I was revising Italian and Latin of the oral test (a fucking test about the whole programme for which i hardly had time to study) one of my classmates rushed into the classroom shouting like a lost soul. When he explained us what happened there where some people who nearly had a collapse.

During our English class, the teacher tried to comfort us, saying that worrying so much was totally worthless. I trusted him, and I came to think that the president won’t have been as evil as hearsay said, but when we informed other teachers, they immediately got pale after hearing the president’s surname. Our Maths’s teacher was the most worried of all.

Let’s clear something: I know this period is stressful for each single student at his 5^th year of high school so, I’m not the only one and I’m not the first. There’re tons of students who are under pressure in this period, but I just can’t think they are as unlucky as me and my classmates are, and not only for this new president. We have been tortured (yes, I’m not exaggerating) for three years. We’ve been having teachers that had put us down whenever they had the occasion. Lots of people where flunked (18 people left us during these five years, and we are now 17), and the others have never been sure to be safe. We studied and studied but our strains haven’t been rightly paid back. Ok…this might still be fine if, in the end, you can finally get that fucking diploma and leave the awful environment the high school is.

All I want is to give up studying so much and go to university. I would have, and I will study hard until the end of the exam but I just can’t stare that things like this happens! And when you are stressed you need to believe in something that can cheer you up like “I’m not alone!”.

Today two of my classmates had to set up a lesson about relaxing. They gave instruction while the rest of us were lying on the ground listening to some relaxing music and what did I do? I started to cry like a baby! Fortunately I managed to hide it, because I stayed silent and everyone’s eyes were closed.

Yeah, I’m not a strong person and when I have to stand period like this for two month my self-control often fails to keep my emotions inside. I avoid doing it a school because I feel embarrassed but at home it's different.

When I come home I can’t find some rest from school’s stress either: my mother keeps shouting to everyone she meets, to my dad in particular. So it’s a kind of never ending cycle….well, a circle doesn’t have an end…oh well, you got the idea.

The only activity that really relaxes me is drawing, but unfortunately, in this period, I cannot spend time doing something which is not studying. And well, this is probably the right thing to do since the exam is getting near.

To London!

I have just come back from my school trip to London and, as always, it has been an amazing experience.

DAY 1

I had to wake up very early in the morning so the journey turned out to be quite tiring, but when I finally arrived my weariness immediately disappeared. The morning hours were the most boring cause my classmates and I had to stand in the hotel’s hall for nearly an hour, leaving a deposit and filling in some paper stuff. Then we went to Covent Garden’s where we had lunch: a friend of mine and me decided to have our own at Pizza Hut and we both regretted it.

The afternoon was spent in the British Museum: it has a huge collection of art pieces, and it’s very interesting, especially the ancient Greek art.  Anyway, after two hours and a half, I had been having enough of it.

Back to the hotel I tried not to sleep (the bed seemed so comfortable after the day’s efforts) by having a quick shower. After dinner, we went for a night walking to Piccadilly Circus: I’ve found it as chaotic, as I remembered, but I was nice.  I once had the impression my teacher wad daltonian,  'cause he never crossed the street with green light on; plus, he didn’t walked at all: he trotted!

When we went back to the hotel I spend some time with my mates  and I enjoyed it for probably the first time in five year. They made me taste Guinness  beer but I don’t like alcohol so I can’t tell you if it’s as good as people say.

DAY 2

This was the first serious exhausting day: from Bloomsbury we moved to Westminster, Buckingham Palace,  Harrods and Hyde Park. Oh, did I mention that we’ve never  travelled using public transports? It was very hard at first, but then I became kind of used to it, if not addicted (no I mean, seriously! Now that I’m back at home I miss all the walks,  and I feel like my days are empty, with nowhere worth going).

Some of my classmates and me visited Westminster Abbey, and it was a wonderful experience. It’s such a huge and amazing building that you can perceive a sense of history when entering it.  Passing in front of many tombs made me revise all the English literature’s programme of the past two year:  it was impressive how many notions I could remember. My favourite part, however, was  the so called poets’ corner: when I reached T.S. Eliot’s slab I said "Please Eliot, pray for us!".  My mate looked at me weirdly  XD
When we went to Hyde Park i had an encounter with a nice hungry squirrel that nearly scared a friend of mine sitting near me on a bench.

Along with few classmates and two teachers, I went to a walk to the river Thames's bank in night time. They took lots of pictures, all amazing and extremely detailed (want ‘em!). We were able to hear the Big Ben’s  strikes: I just stayed speechless listening to that beautiful sound that once rolled the whole city.

I also received some unexpected compliments from one of my class mate  about my recent improvements in English. It was very kind of him: nobody has ever said something like that to me, apart from my English teacher, but he never told me directly.

DAY 3

We must have been walking for kilometres! From Bloomsbury we moved to the City, the Tower of London and the Tower Bridge, then we went back till we reached the Tate Gallery. We stopped there for lunch and for a quick visit.

When I finally sat down at the cafe, I just wanted something to fill my empty belly. While my friend was ordering a sandwich to the waiter, my English teacher appeared behind us, obviously scaring us. Do you know what did he want? An umbrella! He came to London without even packing an umbrella. Shameful! When I think about it, it always makes me smile.

Then came my favourite part: the National Gallery. Well, call it national might be considered a paradox, because the only “national” painters were William Turner and John Constable, both extremely talented, by the way. One of Constable’s pictures attracted me particularly: there was a stag in the middle of a wood with a kind of tomb near him. It was very well done and conveyed me such a sense of rest and peace that my tiredness immediately disappeared. I also liked the huge painting of Whistlejacket: very simple but extremely detailed.

Night time was such a shame though! My classmates wanted to sit in a pub and have a beer, but, since there were people from the other class who were under 18, we ended up in a kind of squalid bowling/ penny arcade.

DAY 4

Relax! We practically did nothing! My classmates went shopping in Piccadilly Circus, while a friend of mine and me just entered a book shop: I’ve bought a marvellous (also heavy!) book about animation, “The Animator’s Survival Kit”. It’s very nice, with some animation’s tutorial and, at the end, some circles. After that, we’ve been sitting in a Starbucks coffee bar for about 2 hours, doing nothing but chatting…and having something of course!

In the afternoon I sadly had to say goodbye to London. We took the coach that would have brought us to Gatwick, but the driver decided that it would have been nicer taking the way to Heathrow instead! We’ve run the risk of losing our flight, but I wasn’t so worried, unlike my friend who was kind of pissed off and would have taken the flight alone, leaving the rest of us alone, cause he didn’t care and just wanted to come back home. I would have kicked him. He’s so selfish! He pissed me off! Every time he spoke he complained about something: "I’m tired, Italian food is definitely better, it’s impossible to walk so long distances without even stopping, I have to use the toilet, I have to sleep and so on". I think I would have joined the trip more if I didn’t have him around.

Anyway, in the end, we succeeded in arriving at the airport just in time; well, we did all the stuff in a rush, but we departed without any problems.

I don’t want to deal with the arrival because it wasn’t so happy and it made me regret leaving UK and thinking about coming back there.

So this is the end! (Finally). What else can I say? As you see, I’ve really enjoyed my time in London and I’ve had the chance to establish a better relationship with my school mates.




Ps: All the photos you see (except for the one of John Constable's picture) were taken by me and... yeah, the quality sucks, as well as my photographical skills. 

Goodbye Little One

“Goodbye may seems forever. Farwell is like the end. But in my heart’s the memory, and there, will always be.”

Dinsey's The Fox and the Hound

At last it happened: Julie has passed away. As I wrote before, I could do nothing but giving her pain killers and wait. I knew this moment would have come, but it still hurts me. Describing what I’m feeling right now would be impossible: my eyes are burning because of the constant tears and I’ve only been able to stop crying during school time.

I woke up this morning and I immediately rushed into the bathroom because I was late. While brushing me teeth I heard my mom talking with my brother, and then come close to me, repeating the same name: << Julie…>>. I just stood in front of her for one minute before realizing she wouldn’t have added anything else.

My first reaction was weird: I looked at her body lying on the bottom of her cage, as she was sleeping with a peaceful expression. All I did was just staring at her body, waiting for seeing her chest moving and breathing, but it didn’t happen.
I did the same when I came home in the afternoon, as if I couldn’t realise she was death. I feel guilty for secretly wishing her death in my mind, but I just couldn’t stand seeing her suffering like that.

Our relationship, as well as the one she had with human beings in general, has been difficult. She took about two years to start trust in mankind, well, in me and my mother mainly. Nevertheless I’ve always loved her, even if she wasn’t that mild pet you can handle so easily. I recognise she had a kind of dignity in that, and I’ve always respected it.

Julie was probably the busiest animal I’ve ever met: she was always doing something, and only in her old age she used to spend a huge amount of hours sleeping. She was also very strong as she faced the death of her mate, which made her insecure for a while, and a deep pain for her broken leg. But she kept holding on, like a person, and went on with her life.
She taught me that strong personalities cannot be changed.

JULIE (MAY 2005- 08 FEBRUARY 2011)

The strongest and the sweetest chipmunk who ever hanged around my bed room.

R.I.P Little one.

Time out!

This post will contain lots of complains, so if you don’t stand them, just don’t read this post: I mainly wrote it for me, in order to pour out my anger and my frustration.

Since I’ve come back from my Christmas holiday I’ve constantly been put under pressure. First came my application letter: I’ve spent a whole Saturday afternoon working on it (it was supposed to be my day off) and I sent it about 15 minutes before the deadline. Well, one thing is over, you may say. Actually, no. No because I got a response from the university, saying they wanted a portfolio. Well, my friends here knows I’ve been dealing with it for about 5 months (and they’re probably sick and tired to hear this word), but I’m still not able to provide one: I have something ready but I’d like to add something. When will I do it? Believe me, I don’t know. In a week I should send the university an e-mail with a link to my works, and I must have them ready in less than 7 days. They would be enough if didn’t have school and tests practically every day (if not two in the same day).
Teachers or adults would just say << You have to learn how to cope with stress! >>. I remember a reading we did in an English class few months ago dealing with teenagers who cope with stress. My desk mate said :<< Teachers are kind of joking us. We wouldn’t be so stressed if we didn’t have so much to study and tests over tests. They think we will learn to be more relaxed by reading a stupid article? >>. Now, tell me if this sounds stupid to you.
All I need is to stop the time but it seems nobody has invented anything that can do it. I’d just need two hours every day to be that isn’t counted by the clock. I would use nigh time, if I didn’t need to sleep so much: going to bed at midnight and wake up at 7.30 is not good for me, because I would be sleepy till lunch.

When you ask your parents for an advice they say I complain too much, that life it’s so easy for me because I don’t work, that I have nothing to worry about... and so on. This is mainly what my mother says. I can’t contradict her: since my grandpa has been put into a retirement house (he has the Alzheimer disease) her life is going and coming back from that place, plus working. She has not time to care about the family, and my father, who is always out for work’s dinners, doesn’t help at all. Every time my parents talk, they end up quarrelling and shouting. I don’t want and I wouldn’t even dare to stress them, so I decided to do all the university stuff alone, just providing them with little news.

What’s more, I’ll have an important English exam in March, but when I ask to my mother to come with me to enrol me, she says I’d better wait for the results of my exam simulation but I know it will be too late. My father had scolded me saying that I should have told him instead of my mother. But when would he help me if he works till 8 pm?

As things weren’t bad enough, Julie, my chipmunk, got ill again. She has broken her legs again, but this time pain killers don’t work. It’s been a week since I found her limping and she’s getting worse every day. I’m sure the vet would put her down... i don’t know what to do...I just don’t wanna see her suffering anymore, but I know her death would destroy me and... Damn I feel so cruel in saying it but, I have no time for depression now...

Yes, I’m aware that my problems seems stupid, surely worthless worrying, if you consider the lives of other people, but facing them it’s hard for me.

Julie is getting better

I'm so glad to announce that Julie is back home, and i couldn't be happier. I can't say she's healty because she still suffers for her leg (the x-ray showed a break between the tightbone and the hip); what's more, she had an infection, fortunately nothing serious, to her lungs and she's not able to breathe properly at the moment. 
The good news are that i can cure all her problems: although i can do nothing for the breakbone, i can give her painkillers and antibiotics. It will be complicated since she's not used to be handled, and will surely try to bite me, but i'm determinated to make her feel better. The bone will be fixed naturally: a new elastic tissue will cover the break; a surgery would be impossible. 
After six days of theraphy she's really getting well, and what's important, she doens't feel any pain. How can i say that?! Well, when i came home yesterday, she was hanging around my bedroom, running, jumping, climbing... i pratically couldn't stop her! I still find difficoult to give her medicines (it takes about an hour every evening O_O *dies*) but she's ok now and that is what matters most. 
I would like to thank all the Deviant Art's people, and my boyfriend, who supported me in these two days. I couldn't think in an optimistic way and i was seriously thinking i would have lost Julie forever. She might not be a loyal or a friendly pet like a dog or a cat, but she's been part of my family for 5 year, and i'm really attached to her. As you have seen, just the idea of loosing her made me feel terrible, but thank you again for your support! 


School is making me busier and busier i just want to stop studying for a while! It's still Novemeber but i have already had enough and i don't know what i will do in June if i go on like this. I'd like to draw more but i can't find time to do it. Plus, i still have to think about a portfolio and i should start writing my application letter NOW, if i want to take a chance with Farnham's UCA. God, i study all the subject, exept art! (Just history of art, so no drawing practise for me).
On Fryday i'll leave for two days: i'll go on a kind of school trip to Geneve, to visit the physic's laboratory, C.E.R.N. I really need two days off!